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Fear, Terror & Relationships

8/10/2016

4 Comments

 
Once again, pardon the humour in the title.
​I don’t mean to imply that relationships are worse than terrifying (but some of them come close!)

We all experience fear in some form or another, but sometimes it goes from the sublime to the ridiculous.
I don’t mean to be insensitive to people who really suffer, but there have been a huge list of phobias that have developed over the years. Some of them are so close to being funny, it’s laughable!
Claustrophobia, agoraphobia, arachnophobia, acrophobia are some of the most common ones. But here’s some unusual ones from
The Phobia List:

  • Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
  • ​Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
  • Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
  • Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
  • Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
  • Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
  • Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks.
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (My favourite so far.)
  • Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables. (??!!)
  • Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
  • Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law.
You name it, there’s a phobia for it.
They can be useful, though. In politics, if anyone disagrees with you, just think up some impressive, scary-sounding phobia to brand them with. But maybe that would make us "allodoxaphobes" (refer to list above) so we’d better not. :/  :D

But seriously, fear is very real for those who experience it. We may laugh at many of these phobias listed above, but let’s not hold these fear-ers in contempt. We have our own too.
Fear can actually be as confronting as pain and suffering. Sometimes worse. It is sometimes considered as a “torment of the soul”. See 1 John 4:18.
Note, by the way, that the apostle John spoke of this in the context of fear-based religion versus a relationship with God. When we are motivated mainly out of fear of the consequences, we are not “perfected in love.” See my previous post on the “End of Wisdom”.
Yet I believe we can take the meaning of that passage further.
When I was little, and I held my Daddy’s hand, I was as bold as a lion.
When I hold my Heavenly Father’s hand, I am bold as a lion. (See Proverbs 28:1)
The trick is: learning to get a hold of our Heavenly Father’s hand in the first place. That alone can be scary for some, especially if it means turning back to God to begin with. Yet that’s how it often happens:
  1. We allow ourselves to get caught up in dodgey stuff
  2. We suffer the inevitable consequences
  3. We panic, or at least realize that the situation is way beyond our control.
  4. We renounce the dodgey stuff and run back to God.
We can see this happening in our kids, of course, but we adults are no different if we’re honest. The “dodgey stuff” merely grows with us.
Sadly, many would rather hang onto their dodgey stuff and the phobias that come with it rather than run to the only One who can help them get free.
Yet the Father is amazingly compassionate, and incredibly patient.
True, He will mostly allow us to stew in our own juice until we wake up to ourselves, but often He will pursue us -- not so much to rescue us from the consequences -- but to let us know He’s ready to grab our hand when we reach out to Him.

I know there are fears that have come from things that have happened to us, not so much from what we have done. Like I said, I don’t want to be insensitive about these things. I know that it sometimes takes years to overcome certain fears, and there’s no simplistic answer to it.
But every time God said “Fear not.” it was because “I am with you”, “I will help you” or some expression of His Fatherhood (See Isaiah 41:10.)
There have been many, many examples where people have conquered their fears by their love:
  • A young soldier conquers his fears and presses into the battle because he loves his people and his country’s freedom.
  • A young mother-to-be goes through with the pains of childbirth because she wants a little one to love, and for the love of her man.
But the best example I can think of is:
  • A 33 year old carpenter faced the fear of an agonising death, but went through with it because He loved you and me.

Please don’t be afraid to comment. :)



4 Comments
David
11/10/2016 03:16:46 pm

It appears we all might be suffering from a fear of leaving a comment.
I can't find a specific name for it though.

Reply
mystery blogger 2
18/10/2016 12:29:20 pm

There are many people today who struggle with the types of issues mentioned here.Mental illness is a serious issue.Jesus came for lost and broken people.One of the things Jesus said these people need is encouragement.'Anxiety in the hear of a man causes depression but a good word makes it glad' proverbs 12.25. Jesus also said that he came to heal the broken hearted.'God sent me to give them a beautiful crown in exchange for ashes. To anoint them with gladness instead of sorrow. To wrap them in victory, joy and praise instead of depression and sadness' Isaiah 61.3.To those who are still in the process of being healed God says he resores our soul.'He restores my soul...' psalm 23.3.We need to make sure we are safe people and safe churches for people sruggling with these issues so they dont suffer shame.God is speaking to all of us regarding these things. 'Dont be afraid I have redeemed you.I have called you by name. You are mine. When you are in over your head i will be there with you.When you are in rough waters you will not go down. When you are between a rock and a hard place it wont be a dead end. Because I am your God...I paid a huge price for you. Thats how much you mean to me. Thats how much I love you' Isaiah 43.1 The message. Lets keep encouraging one another.

Reply
god
18/10/2016 04:36:12 pm

christians are meant to fear god so what phobia is that called

Reply
Anne link
13/11/2016 09:13:08 am

I guess there is a name for fear of God, but if you mean as a phobia, then I take it to mean fear of God in a negative sense. However, the fear of God talked about in The Bible is a positive fear or a healthy fear. For example, fear of touching a hot stove is a healthy fear (a good fear to have) as it keeps us from getting burnt. Likewise to fear God is to have a respect for who He is and both the rewards for obeying Him and the consequences for not obeying Him. Fearing God is acknowledging that He knows more than us, is more powerful than us so it's in our best interests to do so. However God doesn't just want us to fear Him - He loves us and wants to have a relationship with us.

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