It's amazing how often we make choices based on how we react to certain situations.

Driving is a classic example.
It might go something like this:

1. Late for work. I jump in the car rather stressed since wife didn't rouse me in time when the alarm didn't go off, and daughter was in the shower when I should have been.
2. Nearly hit a passing car as I back out of the driveway at 60 k/h.
   Why does he honk at me like that? Doesn't he know I'm in a hurry?? Give me a break!
3. Nearly hit by a commuter backing out of his driveway at 60 k/h. I honk hard and glare at him in passing. Who on Earth taught him to drive?? Doesn't he know anything about road safety?
4. Sit chafing at the red light on the freeway ramp, only to get stuck in bumper2bumper snails-pace. When's this government going to update this over-stretched infra-structure as promised? Won't be voting for them in the next election!
5. A commuter crosses in front of me to get to the next turn off, I have to brake hard to avoid hitting him. I honk hard, lean out of the window and yell at him. Idiot drivers!
6. I nearly miss my turn-off and obliged to quickly cross a few lanes before I'm cut off. It wasn't my fault that a car was creeping up in that blind spot! My car wasn't designed with a left-side fish-eye mirror. He has no right to yell and honk like that! Whatever happened to road-courtesy and graciousness? Idiot drivers!

Of course, I'm not always like that. I like to think I'm a nice guy, except for the times when I have to be a bit nasty aggressive assertive just to survive. :/

Sound familiar? I wonder if my driving would improve if I put myself in the other driver’s shoes?
“But nah! Haven’t got time for that when I’m stressed!”

Another common example:
A girl is disappointed in love for the second or third time.
She vows: “I’ll never fall in love again! All men are the same!”

A lot of sad songs have been written using those words.
Often she gets over it and falls in love again with, hopefully, a dependable man.
​The sad part is when people don’t change their opinion of the other sex or their life choices because of this kind of disappointment. It’s called harbouring bitterness.

Many sadder, even tragic examples can be drawn from everyday life:

• A father hits his child in anger because he didn’t like the way he/she spoke back at him
• A child hates his/her father because of cases of child abuse.
  “I’ll never forgive him!”
  (Please note: I’m neither condoning child abuse or trivializing the pain the victim has suffered.)
• A boy gets ridiculed and bullied at school because he is smaller or different in some way from the “cool kids”. He withdraws into himself.
  There have been some extreme cases when they have tried self-harm, even suicide.

….to name a few.

This is why we need to learn to get out of the reactive way of living, before it becomes a monkey on our back i.e become bitter, unforgiving, hard, cynical or emotionally crippled in some way.

A reaction is normal, but we can still make choices that can lift us above the situation, instead of becoming enslaved to it.
I know. I’ve tried both approaches.
I’m not saying I’ve thoroughly learned my lesson, because I still occasionally react, rather than stepping back and choosing to be pro-active about it.
But when I have done the latter, it’s been so liberating for me, and sown a lot of interesting seed in the life of the perpetrator.

The best example in history was the man who hung on a cross:
“….When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to Him who judges justly.”
(1 Peter 2:23 NIVUK)

Any comments?

We’re talking about new beginnings. The “New You”.

We saw last time how hopeless we are at “Starting Again.”

Now let’s look at the way God does it for us.
Here’s a few expressions that we sometimes hear that help to explain what’s happening on the inside when God gets to work on us:

• Being “Born Again”
  In its original meaning, Jesus gave an illustration of the new life that comes into being when we first experience a confrontation with Him, His Glory and awesome integrity (“righteousness”) and at the same time, His amazing grace and love – and fall at His feet.
  
  Some might think this phrase is a bit of a cliché. It has been used in derogatory ways for something/someone that has been repackaged and relabelled but not really changed on the inside.
  
  Sadly, this is actually true with some people that claim to have become Christians. They have become religious instead. They talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.
  Jesus said “You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?” (Matthew 7:16)
  
  If God has really  brought a “New You” to birth inside, it must begin to show in our behaviour, our choices and our actions. Not perfect by any means, but definitely growing.
  
  
• “The Work of the Cross” also known as “Dying to self”
  Sounds scary doesn’t it! What on earth is it?
  
  Whenever I’ve surrendered my preferences in favour of what I know God wants, I’ve felt like I could die!
  It means I have to go outside my comfort zone! I have to kick “the habit”! I have to shut up when Brother Sandpaper says those annoying things about me – worse – I have to thank him for it, because I know he’s right!
  
  This kind of “death” is such a painful experience.
  But if I did it willingly, knowing that God knows far better what’s best for me than I do, it turned out He was right! (Surprise! Surprise!)
  
  The most extreme example of this principle was, of course, when Jesus willingly went to an agonizing death, because His Father had a mighty purpose for it.
  Thankfully, not many of us will go through a violent physical death, but there is a lot of daily character-building stuff that we suffer from which threatens to kill off our old pride, our old selfishness etc. In a sense, that Old Me is being crucified.
  
  There’s also “Brokenness.”
  This is a more severe experience than what I’ve just described above.
  
  I’m talking about tragedy here, or “the dark night of the soul” where people go through bereavement or depression, a sense of hopelessness when you can’t see the sense in all of the pain and loss you’re experiencing right now. Jesus certainly knows what I’m talking about!
  I’m not making light of it at all, since I’ve had a taste of that occasionally, but the outcome is still the same. If I take it with the right attitude, recognising the eternal significance of it, this leads to…..
  
  
• Experiencing “His Resurrection life”!
  Most of us, even before we met Jesus, have experienced that moment when we gave up something (time, effort, money) and it made such a difference to someone in need.
  What a buzz that gave us, right?
  
  Research has shown that people who have given their lives in selfless service to others have a far greater “Life Satisfaction” than those who have heaped up huge wealth for themselves.
  
  How much more does this Resurrection principle work in our lives when the Power of God comes into play! As if the initial experience of God’s Presence isn’t enough, wait ‘til you feel the effects of growing in faith and character.
  It’ll make you think: “Why didn’t I do this earlier in my life??” And then there’s the reward when we go into Eternity….
  
  As Paul said: “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” (1 Corinthians 4:17)
  
  It’s a pity I don’t always remember this when I’m going through stuff. :/

• “Sanctification”
  This is another theological expression that’s floated around the church occasionally, and it has nothing to do with being labelled with a “holy” quality or even a title.
  
  Just imagine our wonderful leadership at MCF:
  * “Saint David of the Kingdom Keys”?
  * “Saint Karen, Lady of the Jaspers”?
  * “Saint Beverley, Lady of the Church Keys”?
  * “Saint Adam the Messenger”?
  
  Sounds impressive!
  But they’d be the first to repudiate such titles I’m sure, being such humble folk.
  
  And that’s the point.
  They’ve been through life experiences like I’ve described above and learned from them. It’s like a cleansing process, making them ready for leadership. They’ve experienced not only the hard experiences, but also through study of the amazing Word of God, taking it seriously and applying it to their lives, refreshing and refocusing their minds.
  
  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word..” (Ephesians 5:25, 26)
  
  Note that even that process involves a strong relationship with Him.
  
  ​Comments?